Lumpy's College Orientation

Welcome
Welcome to your college experience, with me, Lumpy. (and no, my parents don't hate me, its a nickname) I'd first like to state my intentions with this blog. I feel I need to share my knowledge and experiences with you, the reader, in hopes of helping you understand and get prepared for your college experience. I'll be attempting to deliver my advice in a humorous way in hopes that you don't fall asleep at your desk and will continue to be a faithful reader. Anyways, now lets get on with it.

The Overview
I don't know if you knew, but if you're headed to college get ready for the experience of a lifetime. Sure an awesome vacation would be much more fun, cheaper, and probably half the liver pain, but quite frankly its damn hard to get a job without that little piece of paper that says you've accomplished an experience and you also paid alot of money for it. If you are a senior in highschool get ready for the change of a lifetime. You will no longer be working at McDonalds part time and just awaiting the day you get your highschool diploma and can finally move on with your life. No that isn't the case at all. You're headed to college. You will now be working FULL time at McDonalds and awaiting the day you finally get your COLLEGE diploma, and on minimal amounts of sleep, in hopes that you will soon beable to finally get on with your life....(hmm? big change) There are many things you have to be ready for when headed to college. You have to be ready to be ripped from your comfort zone. Be ready for all kinds of new experiences the likes of: Being a nobody, striving to be a somebody, losing track of who you thought you were, finding yourself, public displays of a little bit more than affection, nudity (most times, not the fun kind), nudity (sometimes the fun kind), putting your liver to work, putting your brain to a whole lot more work, dealing with people who are different, knowing no one because you are a no one, meeting people, how to meet people, sexual activities both by yourself and with a friend, walking in on sexual activities of someone by themselves or with a friend, alcohol management, developing credit, gaining weight, depression, home sickness, waking up on time while not going to bed on time, study sessions, and finally (just to end the list) developing your new super unhealthy diet. And this isn't even the half of it kids. Prepare to start over! Especially if your are leaving home, and most definately if your going way far from home. Hopefully, I can soon help you to cope,by sharing my story and my experiences and my friends experiences (yes, this blog has guest stars! Whoop!) and if I can't, I'll hopefully point you in the direction of someone who can. Hope to see you back here soon

Suggested Readings: The Naked Roommate: and 107 other issues you might run into in college by Harlan Cohen